A Mage and her Templar
by Fractured Luna
Summary: Dealing with a blood mage and falling for templar are two things Alexandra Amell was always taught were off-limits for a Circle Mage to do. However when a friend turns out to be a blood mage, her world is forever changed. It makes her question everything.
1. Not Listening and Not Looking

**Author Note\Heads up:** This is my first fan-fiction I posted. It will follow the in-game events mostly but will focus on things thing I like to think happened between certain events and conversations. It is based off my last play through as, of course, a mage, but you can expect to see things that were not included in the game especially between my character, Alexandra, and Alistair.

* * *

Alistair was talking to her. His lips were moving, but it was if someone hit mute somewhere because Alexandra couldn't hear a word he said. She was just looking at him, staring really. She couldn't help but notice that he was incredible handsome and he was the Grey Wardens that was suppose to help her complete the Joining ritual. That's why Duncan sent her to find him. Maybe she was wrong about her earlier impression of being a Grey Warden. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

That was until the sound suddenly came back with a rush as she heard him say he was once a Templar. Alexandra was born a mage and had known no other life then being inside of the Circle Tower. So, she knew all about templars and their so called _**duties**_. Suddenly, various images of people flooded her mind's eyes. Every templar she ever came across during her stay at Circle Tower from Knight-Commander Greagoir to Cullen. But, surely he couldn't be like them, could he? And before she could even stop herself, the question tumbled out of her lips: "You were a mage-hunter?"

Alistair looked at her blankly, confused to why there was such a shocked look on her face. He answered nonchalantly, going on about something along lines of that was not all the templar's do. He obviously had forgotten that she was mage, probably due to fact that her staff was currently replaced by a dagger and a wooden shield strapped to her back that had gotten along the way trying to help Lily and--_**Him**_. She refused to even speak his name anymore after what he did to her, to them. It just made her angry thinking about it.

She heard a heavy boot being tapped impatiently against the stone floor. She realized she had stayed far quieter then she had intended as Alistair was giving her a puzzled, yet amused look that let her know she had probably missed something important. "What did you say? I apologize. I was not listening." She said slightly embarrassed. Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink, which she hoped he had not caught. Unfortunately for her, he had which caused the smile on his face to grow.

"Oh, nothing, just trying to find a bright side in all this." He responded, before adding silently to himself, _'And I think I just found her...I mean it. Yeah, that's right, I mean it.'_ He had not fooled anyone, including himself, if he said that he was not pleasantly surprised that she was one to be joining the ranks of the Grey Wardens. Duncan had not done her any justice when he described her. The newest Grey Warden recruit was nothing like he expected when Duncan wrote that she was a mage. He was expecting she would be this uptight, preachy, magic wielder who thought they were better then everyone like the one he just been in an argument with a few minutes earlier.

Alexandra Amell was not that way at all. She seemed to be more leveled and calm with understated inner strength about her. Her brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail with two long strands let loose on either side of face. Her green eyes locked onto his brown ones showing she was listening intently to everything that was being said, at least when she was not lost in thought. And a body that even the boring mage robes would not hide and not make any male not want to...The rest of that thought caused his cheeks to flush. The sudden image of the Revered Mother scolding him about being a gentleman returned him to his senses. _'Ah, yes, being struck by lightning and then the end of the world.' _He thought jokingly, regaining his composure.

"Alistair?" Alexandra's questioning tone made him notice she had said something he did not catch. As soon as his gaze fell back on her, she repeated her statement, a little slower this time showing a bit of annoyance. "I-look forward-to traveling-with you." "You do? Huh, that's a switch." He commented more to himself then to her, not even catching her change in attitude. He followed by quickly adding, "If you have any question, let me know. Otherwise, lead on!"

And she did, much to her credit without even questioning why he allowed her to lead. For that, he was forever grateful and ever more impressed.

* * *

After a short introduction to other recruits of Ser Jory and Daveth, Duncan explained that their quest was to collect three vials of darkspawn blood for the Joining ritual and then find the Grey Warden's cache to retrieve the old treaties from the former allies of the Wardens. As soon as he had finished, Ser Jory, Daveth, and Alistair all turned to Alexandra waiting expectantly as if for some sort of order to be uttered from her lips for them to follow willingly. Alexandra just stared back, not exactly sure what to say or do.

_'Is this some secret part of joining the Grey Wardens that the newest recruit is suppose to lead them on their first quest? Or is this because their just scared to order me around because I'm a woman...Or maybe it's because I'm a mage...Yeah, let's go with that.'_ She thought, smiling. She then realized that the smile would seem to come from nowhere and would appear odd to the men in front of her. So, it instantly disappeared and her serious demeanor returned.

"You heard Duncan. We need to find that darkspawn blood. I saw the exit to the Wilds is down this way. Let us go." She stated and much to her relief, everyone nodded ready to follow her. Duncan watched as she led them away, with a small smile that nobody caught. He was glad that he had chosen to conscript her to the Wardens. She was intelligent, fearless, determined, and yet had a good heart, and all that he got within the short time he talk to her at the Tower. She would make an excellent Grey Warden and maybe one day, rise to be their very leader.

Even Duncan knew, while Alistair may have been longer in the ranks, he would not willingly take over if anything should happen to him. Nor would he feel right in forcing Alistair to do so even if he was strongly devoted to his duties as a Grey Warden. Alexandra would serve as a good replacement for him. Duncan knew from the moment he had met her. He also knew his time was going to be over very soon. Maybe he would rest a little easier now knowing that such a capable young woman was in charge of saving Ferelden from the Blight. That was if she survive the Joining of course, but he had a feeling if anyone could, she would.

* * *

Alexandra felt anything but capable as she was staring into face of the creature known as darkspawn. Alistair had warned her about how monstrous they would appear, but she had no idea until they were charging toward her. _'Use your magic and fight!' _A voice said into her head reminding her for her purpose out there. She pulled out her staff and froze one of them. That's when Alistair and the others entered the picture, for a second she forgot they were out there with her.

From then on it got easier for her, she would freeze or paralyze the little gemlocks or the big hurlocks, as Alistair later explained to her the differences, and then he or one of the others would attack close up. She would then fire way with her staff or an occasional arcane spell. All three men seem to realize that being mage, one of their tactics should be to intercept any and all enemies that broke free from them and towards Alexandra, for that she was grateful.

Not that far into the forest, the group came upon a wounded solider. Alexandra looked at him with concerned crouching down. She could have healed him with magic, but they not in the best place to wait for the magic to work. She didn't know why, but she found herself looking towards Alistair, who as soon as he saw the look on her face spoke up about having bandages. She watched in relieved as he went to work at patching the man up before the man got up, thank them, and limped away. Alexandra didn't see it, but Alistair was watching her with a small smile on his face.

The whole exchange between the mage and the templar caused Ser Jory and Daveth to exchange looks of their own to which Daveth just shrugged. Something was going on between the junior member and new recruit of the Grey Wardens even they realized it, but it was not their place to say anything about it. It was easier for Ser Jory because the news the wounded man brought scared him more then anything making him voice his opposition to being there thinking about his wife and their still unborn child back in Highever.

"I have magic. We'll be fine." Alexandra spoke first trying to soothe his fragile nerves. Daveth's snide comment after Alistair spoke, however, succeed in dismantling her hard work. She sighed, letting it go for now knowing that it was not going to be last conversation they had about the danger they were in. She led on anyway fighting through the darkspawn and collecting the vials, which all ended in her possession. Alistair made a reply underneath his breath when Daveth handed the last of the vials that Alexandra swore sounded as if he said, "She'll keep the vials safe and then I'll-We'll make sure to keep her safe." But he said it so low that she thought she had imagined it and anytime she even attempt to bring the subject up, he deflect her questions with humor. So much so that she just gave up, much to Alistair's relief.

Along the way, she found a Chasind Robe and as far as she could tell, seemed to offer her a little more defense from damage, even if not the elements considering the way it was made. So, she told the guys to stop for a second and disappeared into nearby wooded area before anyone could stop her. She first made sure to check it was clear of anybody, human or darkspawn, the last thing she need now was to be surprised by either one. And once satisfied that no one could see her, she began to change into it.

Alistair couldn't believe that Alexandra had decided to change right now in middle of forest crawling with darkspawn. He knew that it might have offered her better protection from damage and she couldn't do it in front of them, surely not...correct? He could feel the heat rise to his face again at even the possibility. He stuffed the feeling down, deciding to look to the other two to distract him. Sir Jory was starring off into the distance, lost in thought, probably about his wife. Daveth was creeping ever so closer to the spot Alexandra had disappeared when he caught Alistair's angry glare. He instantly retreated back to where he had been standing before, no longer just afraid of the darkspawn in forest.

"I'm ready now. So let us move on." Alexandra said as she emerged not too long afterwards, tucking her old robes into the backpack. All eyes turned to her and she heard them all take a sharp intake of air. So, the robes fit her _**a**_ _**little too tightly**_? She didn't think anything of it until Alistair broke the silence. "Oh Maker!" He muttered unconsciously, turning away quickly trying to hide his face that was redder then before. _'Darkspawn, we're here to fight the darkspawn. Not become a drooling lecher over a soon-to-be fellow Grey Warden, none the less, but that robe was making it difficult, so difficult...' _He thought feeling even his ears becoming hot.

Ser Jory didn't seem to be dealing with it any better then Alistair as he quickly turned away as well. "Wife with child, wife with child, wife heavy with child." Ser Jory repeated over and over again to himself like a chant. Daveth seemed to be the only one who approved of her robe change by not shying away from looking at her and somehow, that didn't make her feel any better about changing. It was too late to do anything now. She would just have to stay that way until they returned to camp.

"The cache must be in the area up ahead. I hope the treaties are there." She said in a hurry suddenly to move on whether or not they were following behind. Luckily, they seemed to get the hint and returned to the task at hand. As she came upon the open area where a broken chest was, she felt as if they were being watched, but no one seemed to be around although she thought she felt a strong magical presence in the area. She just thought it was just her overly sensitive mage sense at work, until she caught Alistair's eye. He seemed to be feeling the same thing by the way he was suddenly very alert.

Still, someone had to get the scrolls from the chest. So without a word, she stepped forward and examined it. It was empty. Now what were they going to do? Before she could share this finding with those with her, a woman appeared from out of nowhere and began walking down ramp that Alexandra could have swore was empty a few second earlier. As she spoke questing whether they were scavengers or intruders, Alexandra could not help but think that she was wrong when she thought the Chasind Robe was revealing because the woman's robe, if anybody could actually call that singular piece of fabric a robe, was far less clothed then the Chasind one. It almost made it look modest...**_Almost_.**

Daveth called her a "witch of wilds," the ones that the guard had told Alexandra about but that could not possible be true, could it? No, that would be too coincidental. Alexandra made a conscious decision to remain cordial to the witch, especially after learning that she knew where the scrolls are. It allowed her learn that the witch's name was Morrigan and she had been following them for quite sometime. It was a scary thought. Alistair, however, was not helping her get on Morrigan's good side especially by calling her a "sneaky witch-thief," to which Alexandra did have to hold her tongue to keep from laughing. She managed to keep herself together and talked her way into be led to Morrigan's mother, but not without sound advice from Alistair. "I'd be careful. First it's, 'I like you...' but then 'Zap!' Frog time." He warned even before Morrigan was out of earshot, not that Alexandra need anymore reminding that apostates could be dangerous.

* * *

After receiving the treaties from Morrigan's mother, Alexandra and company returned to Ostagar to inform Duncan they did as they were asked. As soon as she entered, she felt the stares of most of the men on her as they past by. All the attention was starting to get to her and she picked up the pace leaving Alistair, Daveth, Ser Jory to almost have to run to keep in step with her in their heavier armor. On the way, Alistair could feel an intense feeling of anger stirring within him that he never felt before watching the way the other men in the camp looked at Alexandra. He did not understand why he felt that way, but he knew did not like the attention she was getting at all.

His sudden mood shift was brought to Duncan's attention as he stood right next to him. Alistair seemed to be on edge, which was not like him in all the time Duncan had come to know him. Though talking to him would have to wait until later as Alexandra handed over the scrolls and vials. Setting up for Joining would come first and then they could all talk since there was much he needed to tell them all, including Alexandra. Duncan then dismissed everyone, telling them to get a good night's sleep. Early tomorrow morning they were going to undergo the Joining.

Daveth and Ser Jory left immediately heading towards the Grey Wardens' camp. Alexandra stood right where she was. She looked at Duncan and Alistair, studying them. She still was not at ease with not being given any more information on the ritual, even after returning from their quest. So she had to ask, "Why is it that I have a feeling that there something important you are not telling us? Can this ritual kill us or something of the sort?" "Alexandra, the Joining ritual has been done for centuries and has proven to weed out those who are suitable for being a Grey Warden and those who are not. Trust that if you are meant to be Grey Warden, you will become one." Duncan answered, without any hesitation. "And if I am not supposed to be a Grey Warden?" She continued to press for more answers. "Then you will not be one." He responded in a gruff tone that told her that was all he wished to tell her about it. She saw Alistair look down sadly at that point, remembering something...or someone.

She was about to say something to him, but Duncan interrupted her. "Alistair, Alexandra must be very tired. It has been a long day. Please show her to her tent and then return to help me set up for the ritual." He commanded to which Alistair nodded, grateful for the distraction. "This way, Alexandra." He said leading the way to the camp. Alexandra took one more look at Duncan, who stood as stoic as ever, before reluctantly settled to follow Alistair. She wasn't going to tell anyone, but all this secrecy around the Joining was making her extremely worried, maybe even more then Ser Jory and she had nothing to lose. Why did she suddenly feel that if she went through with this, there was going to be no turning back?


	2. Mabari and Master

Alexandra needed to get away. Their glances at her were getting too much. This time it had nothing to do with the clothes she was wearing since she replaced the Chasind Robe with her old mage robes. This look was much worse because it was ones of sadness and pity. It almost felt as if they weren't expecting to see her last to tomorrow, after the Joining. She couldn't take it anymore, so she snuck out of camp the moment the guards weren't looking. The last thing she need right now was to be caught sneaking around the camp and to be thought that she was deserting when she was not. She already had seen what happens when they catch someone.

Once she was safely out of the camp, she realized that she had no real clue of where she could go. She could have asked Alistair earlier but he had left just like Duncan asked him to, right after he showed her to where they had set up a tent for her. He did not even give her a chance to thank him before he left. She would just have to find something to do on her own. Ostagar was a pretty big place in the light of the day, but it seemed even bigger at night. Every shadow seemed to stretch for miles away from her getting deeper and deeper every step she took forward. It was unsettling, especially as she realized that darkspawn were still very close in Wilds. Maybe one could slip by the gates, grab her, and...She shivered. She didn't even want to think about what could happen after that.

To soothe her nerves, she settled to looking up sky above her. The full moon was out among its starry cousins that covered the dark blue sky like a blanket across a sleeping child. The thought made her smile bringing back a long forgotten memory of her mother tucking her into bed. Her mother's face was hazy as it always was. She remembered something different about her this time. She was singing her a lullaby, but its actual words had simply faded with time. All Alexandra could remember was soothing melody that always seemed to calm her.

She began humming it to herself, quietly at first but becoming a little louder. It suddenly made her feel so much less alone and apparently she was not the only one to experience that feeling as a sudden bark sounded caused her to stop short. Somehow, she had made her way towards where the Mabari were being kept. Apparently she was only that could not get to sleep that night as most of the dogs were sleeping soundly, all except for one of the hounds. The tan hound barked wagging his almost non-existent tail as soon as Alexandra looked his direction. That's went she recognized him as the mabari she help muzzle yesterday. He seemed to have remembered her and recovered from his encounter with the darkspawn blood.

He barked again louder this time as if trying to tell her something. "What is it, boy?" She asked as she walked toward the pen that he was held in. He took this as invitation to keep barking, much to Alexandra's dismay. She knew he kept barking like that someone would eventually come to check out what was making that racket. She would be in big trouble. So she found herself trying to reason with dog, "You can't keep barking like that, boy. If I sing to you, will you promise to stop? ...Do you understand?" He did seemed to understand all right as the hound silenced himself immediately, sitting down. She guessed that the kennel master was right. The mabari hounds were at least as smart as the average tax collector.

The sight of the mabari's brown eyes waiting for her to do what she promised caused a smile to form on her face. She began to hum again but she felt an unexpected rush of the words of the song come back to her. She could hear her mother's voice almost as if she was small once again. She could see her old room. Alexandra closed her eyes as she sang along with her mother, now lost within her own memories.

_Sleepy little child,_

_May Fade be your friend,_

_The good spirits of the dream world,_

_Will be there to see to that end._

_Sleeping little child,_

_Please do not fear,_

_For the demons will not get you,_

_As long as they are near._

_Slumbering little child,_

_May your dreams be your guide,_

_For tomorrow has yet to come,_

_The night will not hide._

_Dawning little child,_

_You'll never be alone,_

_It will soon be time to awake,_

_You'll be back home._

The mabari listened, feeling sleep wash over him. He closed his eyes, laying back down getting comfortable. Towards the middle of the song, his ears pricked up hearing the unmistakable sound of heavy boots approaching but he did not want to interrupt her to alert her to the new presence. He could distinguish from the scent alone that it was the male that was with her earlier in day when she returned with the flower to help him, the one with the bright hair that was always looking at her funny. He could not believe his master would allow that one to follow her around as if he was a puppy. **_Master_,** had he just used that word for her? Yes, she was going to be his new master, that he decided right then. She would need him to protect her, especially if that puppy intended to stick around.

That puppy, otherwise known as Alistair, stood silently as he watched Alexandra from a short distance away. He was completely transfixed by her both by her song and her voice. When he had heard the song being sung while he was heading back to the camp, he had no idea that voice could have been real let alone anyone he knew. It sounded so pure and beautiful that he thought it seemed to come from the cosmos. He realized that must have been what the Maker felt the moment he heard Andraste singing for the first time. _'Way to go, Alistair,'_ He thought sarcastically at himself before adding, _'The Revered Mother would have been very pleased with you for that blasphemous reference...not.'_

He just couldn't find any other things to compare it to, or any words for that matter. Even long after Alexandra finished, he stood silent until she happened to look in his direction. Her eyes widen in fear and her mouth open and closed a couple of times as she struggled to say what she wanted upon seeing him. "I-I didn't know any-anyone was listening." She finally managed to stutter out thoroughly embarrassed to find she was no longer alone. She desperately tried to find something to look at, only to find that there were only three things to look at in the darkness: a sleeping mabari, Alistair, or the floor. And out of the three, the floor won.

Even not looking at him, she could hear him walk closer to her. A few feet away, suddenly she felt his hand gently nudge her chin up, so she was now staring into his eyes. "You don't need to apologize, Alexandra. It was beautiful...You're beautiful." He said and as soon as those words left his lips, Alexandra felt strange tinkling surge through her body. It was exhilarating and slightly scary. Suddenly, she felt very, very light-headed. If Alistair had not place his other hand on her arm to steady her, she was sure that would have fainted on the spot.

"Are you okay?" He asked looking at her with concern, silently cursing his apparent lack of timing. He did have a bad knack to put his foot in his mouth especially around girls he found attractive, but never this early on. Alexandra nodded, getting her bearings together. "Y-yes...It's just no one has ever called me beautiful before." She blurted out and instantly began to blush almost two shades darker then before. "Well, maybe they should because it's true." He answered with his face turning as red as hers. He couldn't believe he had just said out loud. He quickly let a nervous laugh before adding, "Pretty girls need to be told that all the time, right? Something about their fragile girl egos and cats...Well, I won't bore you with the specifics."

"Alistair!" Alexandra groaned, shaking her head. "What?" Alistair answered pretending to look like he had no idea what she was talking about, before laughing hysterically. She sighed. He just had to go and make a silly joke now after he was doing so well. _'It's for the best anyway. It's best not to get too attached. He's still a templar and you're still a mage, no matter if you're Grey Wardens or not. You do not belong together.'_ Her thoughts chided in bring her back to reality of the situation. She stepped away from him causing his hands to fall back to his side as his laughter died down.

"Look, the sky is getting lighter. We better head back to camp before Duncan sends all the Grey Wardens to find us." She stated much to Alistair's disappointment. It appeared she was back to being serious and that meant his fun was over for now. "After you, Alexa...I mean Alexandra." He corrected himself, flinching slightly just in case she would yell at him. Alexandra stopped in her tracks at his slip up. She was going to yell. She allowed no one to call her that since before she went into the tower.

She thought about it for a second before responding, "No, it's alright, Alistair. You may call me, Alexa." She heard herself saying much to her surprise and Alistair's as well. "Really?" He asked blown away, for sure he was going to get a severe tongue lashing, but that didn't happen. "Yes, under one condition. You can only call me that when...the sky is this color." She spoke quickly looking back at him over her right shoulder, trying to hide a growing smirk. "Wow! That's...Wow-Wait...Hey!" Alistair whined as Alexandra's condition finally registered in his mind. It was a few hours past the middle of the night and any other time he would be sleeping right now. So, he wouldn't be able to use it, ever...

Before he even got to say another word about it, she was off running at full speed back to camp, laughing all the while. "You're stubborn-stubborn woman you know that?" He yelled after her to which she turned around and stuck her tongue out at him before returning to running away. Now just who was supposed to be childish one around here? Her? No way! _'Well, two could play that game.' _He thought before taking off after her, taking a different path to cut her off. He did know this place better then she did. He would catch up to her and scare then beat her to camp that would show her not to mess with him. The thought made him begin to laugh just as bad as she was.

The mabari waited until both of them had left before raising his head to show he was not completely sleeping just yet. He had been watching them the whole time. He didn't need to be a human to understand the feelings that were going on between Alistair and Alexandra. It was beginning stages of love, puppy love. Something he knew a lot about. Speaking of puppy, the puppy did seem to have it bad for her already. He could see it when Alistair thought no one was watching him.

His new master, well, she seemed to be a little more reserved on her feelings. He sense there was pain, a lot of pain hidden in that decision. She would definitely need his protection especially to keep the puppy from breaking her heart. After all that what his name meant: Argus, the "vigilant guardian." With that decided, he finally set his head down, and fell asleep. It would be a long day tomorrow especially since he had to get ready for the battle, one that he could only hope they all survived, but time would tell...


	3. Tainted and Touched

**Author Note: **New chapter posted, thanks to all the positive feedback and amount of people favoriting my first story. I really appreciate it. This time it's going to start from Alistair's perspective before returning to Alexandra's.

* * *

Duncan disapproved, that much Alistair got from the look on his face as they returned to Grey Wardens' camp. He and Alexandra were surprised to find that Duncan was not the only one to notice their arrival. Everyone at camp was awake now, curiously looking them over to see if something more happened then spent time together, under the stars. One look at Alistair as unsure as ever gave them all the answer they need to that question. It was a resounding no. Although relationships were not unheard of between Grey Wardens but somewhere between fighting the darkspawns and saving Ferelden from an impending Blight did tend to leave very little time to maintain a relationship or even to start one.

Alexandra did not seem to care that all attention was on her again, at least this time. She was still reeling from trying to beat Alistair back to camp and she happily could say that she won, even if she didn't play exactly fair. As she saw Alistair appear out of nowhere in front of her, she casted frost spell freezing him solid for enough to time for her to run past. But technically, he cheated first using a path she didn't know existed. At any rate, she won and that was over now. She needed to get back to business and get the Joining over and done with.

Alistair watched her saunter her way to Duncan, all confident and cocky as he picked an ice chuck from his hair. He had to admit, she was pretty clever freezing him like that. It made him determined to never want to get on her bad side for real. It would not however, make him stop trying to find ways to outsmart her and her little magi-mind tricks. He would get her back for this, one day, just not today since it was the Joining. The word suddenly brought him back to his sense of how grave the situation was. What if she...He just couldn't bear to think about it.

He felt his templar discipline kick in and he steeled himself ready to do his duty as a Grey Warden. He walked over to Duncan, Alexandra, and the others. "Are you ready?" Duncan asked him normally, although Alistair saw the concern look in his eyes. "Yes, I am ready." He answered sounding way more confident then he felt. "Then let us begin. Alistair, take them to the old temple." Duncan commanded. Alistair nodded and gestured for the new recruits to follow.

Every step seemed to make the heaviness around his heart grow tenfold. He felt so guilty for leading them to ritual area know very well how this could turn out, even though he knew it was his duty to do this since all other Wardens were preparing for the battle ahead. Still, he could not bear to look any of them in the eye until they reached the old temple. He studied their current mood. Ser Jory looked more nervous then ever. Daveth was still starting trouble. Alexandra was trying to keep everyone calm with little luck. Soon, silence fell again between them.

Then Duncan came and explained what they were about to do as Alistair continued to watch them. Daveth seemed okay with it, through not very pleased. Ser Jory looked as if he was run if he thought he had a chance. Alexandra's face was calm as usual, but something was wrong about it. It was as if she was just acting that way because that was already expected of her. As she stole a glance in Alistair's direction, her eyes said the question she wouldn't dare ask out loud, _'Did you really do this?'_ His only answer was to nod and that seemed to help soothe her fears a little, at least as far he could tell.

Suddenly, it was time for him to say the words spoken at every Joining ritual since the very beginning of the Grey Wardens. "Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand, vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that can not be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day we shall join you." He spoke taking his time. He was having a very difficult time of trying to keep his voice level and calm, especially when thought of Alexandra entered his mind during his final words. When Duncan took back the attention onto himself, he was more then a little relieved. Alistair hated this part most of all.

Daveth went first, just as Duncan had told him the order was going to go. Duncan had chosen him first because he realized Daveth would be the one who need the least convincing to go through with the ritual. Alistair watched in horror as they all did when taint was received and unfortunately, his body could not take it. The life drained out from his body as it crumpled onto the ground before Duncan's apology was spoken. The taint was always more potent then people realize unless they had already summited themselves to it. This Joining was starting off on the wrong foot already.

Ser Jory was next, he would be too fearful to go first yet far too nervous to be left to the end. Duncan's instincts would be proven right as Ser Jory was not eager to go through with ritual. As he attempted to flee, Alistair knew too well what would happen before even the Duncan's dagger stunk into his stomach. Two deaths, already more then there were at his Joining. He could only imagine how Alexandra was feeling right now. Unfortunately, he really had no idea.

Watching the two men die, one due to the taint and other at Duncan's hands, had not made Alexandra feel any better about doing this. She could feel the feelings of sadness, fear, and even some hate for Duncan and Alistair right now for doing this to all of them without any sort of explaining of the consequences. How could anyone be all right in doing this to another human being? _'No one ever said that being a Grey Warden would be easy.'_ Her thoughts were all too happy to reminder her.

Suddenly, it was her turn. Duncan handed her the chalice and Alexandra found her hands taking it without any thought of resistance. She looked down at the inky pool of blood resting at the bottom of chalice. It was moving on its own she thought, only until then she realized that was because her hands were shaking the chalice as she gripped it. Daveth's and Ser Jory's death were all for this? Drinking of darkspawn blood to master the taint? Was becoming a Grey Warden worth all this?

She was terrified at the possibility of drinking the blood of those vile creatures. She wanted nothing more then to drop the chalice and run, but she could feel the stares of Duncan and Alistair on her. They did this once, so why couldn't she? Did she really want the sacrifices of Daveth and Ser Jory to be in vain? There was no going back now as she lifted the chalice to her lips and drank. She would submit herself to taint and hope that somehow, she would manage to make it through this.

"From this moment forth, you are a Grey Warden." She heard Duncan say as the chalice was took from her hands. She was so disconnected to the outside world, the words seemed so unreal. She was not able feel anything but the burning pain that started the moment the blood touched her lips. It burned all the way down her throat before landing in her stomach where it stopped for a second. Then, like an unexpected erupting volcano, the fire started up again this time seared through every nerve, organ, and muscle in her body. She was in so much pain. She felt as if she was being burned alive from the inside out.

At one point, she thought she was as good as dead. No one could possible feel this much pain and still be alive. Then her vision blurred and new images came into view. She saw a big, red dragon but something deep inside told her, this was much more then a simple dragon. This is what commanded the horde of darkspawn even if she did not know what to call it yet. It was a strange beast as when it looked at her direction, she could have sworn it was looking right into her soul as if to say: _"I know who are, mage, and you will never have the chance to defeat me."_

* * *

_'Maker, please, let her survive this.' _Alistair found himself thinking watching her begin to drink the blood. As the taint went to work, he watched holding his breath stepping away from her. She first touched her head, her eyes closing tight. He knew she was feeling the pain they all felt and his heart ached for her. A few seconds later, her eyes went white. He knew seeing visions of the Archdemon, a monster scary then any darkspawn he encountered. The next second, she fainted and for the longest time stood perfect still.

Alistair watched her, growing more and more concern with each passing second. He was so lost in thought that he did not realize Duncan had called his name until the third time. "Yes, Duncan?" He asked still not able to tearing his eyes away from Alexandra. "Take the leftover blood and make the pendant." Duncan replied. "But she hasn't-" Alistair started only to be cut off. "Take the leftover blood and make the pendant." Duncan stated again, this time a little more firmly knowing Alistair would get the message. Alistair took one look at Duncan before doing as he was told.

Duncan was always so sure of himself and his decisions, showing no weakness even in the unsurest of times. Like right then, he had told Alistair she would survive this and become a Grey Warden way before Alistair even meet her. When Duncan talked, people listened and respected his opinion even if they didn't always agree with it. Alistair often thought if only he could be half the man Duncan was, he would feel much more capable of helping the Grey Wardens to stop the Blight and not being a tolerated nuisance because of who his father was. Only Alexandra didn't treat him differently, but that way only because she still did not know. He was under no illusion to the contrary. Once he told her the truth she would become just like the others and he just couldn't bear that.

Suddenly, Duncan's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Alistair, she is beginning to awaken." He said looking from Alistair back to Alexandra. Alistair grabbed the necklace he finished then knelt right next to him. A second later, her eyes fluttered open. For a moment everything was hazy until she recognized Duncan and Alistair looking over his shoulder with a look of clear relief in his eyes. "It is finished. Welcome." She heard Duncan say before they stood back up, forcing her to do same, although much slower.

"How do you feel?" Duncan asked. Alexandra just stared at him blankly for a moment not sure what she should be feeling, still in shock. Her feelings seem to run the spectrum of emotions and they were all confused in her mind. She did know one thing for certain. She wanted--no, needed to be left alone right now. "It's over. I'm fine." She said hoping to get out of this conversation as quickly as possible. It didn't seem to work as Alistair brought up the subject of dreams. She didn't even want to think of the dragon, right now. She had enough things going through her mind.

As he handed her the pendant to remember those who didn't make it, Alexandra was at the very end of losing it, but she keep calm so neither Duncan or Alistair would get suspicious. She quickly promised to go to the meeting with the king and to her relief was glad to see them walk away, leaving her alone. She took a look around and noticed there was a ledge going around the outside of the temple where she was. It would be perfect place to get some privacy and maybe have a good cry. She did need that right about now.

Even before she found a spot to sit over looking the soon-to-be battlefield, she could feel the tears stinging her eyes like a bad swarm spell. Maker knows she had been on the receiving end of those many, many times. She finally sat clutching the pendant to her chest. The tears flooded out uncontrollably. So many thoughts flashed in her mind that made her want to cry harder like Sir Jory and the child he would never get to see, Daveth and his family for he must had someone who cared for him that will never see him again, and all the other almost Grey Wardens that died much like their new fallen brothers before then even got the chance to make some difference in Ferelden, during the Blight or even after.

Then she cried for herself. She cried for the life she would never knew she would had if she would not have let herself succumb to the taint. She cried for her old life at the Circle Tower, even through she sometimes hated being in there. It was still the only home she ever known. She cried for herself being so weak to let herself break down like this. She had learned many things at the Circle and one that stuck with her the most even more then not dealing with a blood mage or falling in love with a templar, was that she should always be disciplined enough to control her emotions. Emotions were as dangerous as the Fade. Sometimes, they could control your decision much worse then any demon could.

Jo--_**He **_was the perfect example. He let love blind him into a future with Lily even at the cost of using blood magic to free himself not caring who he hurt: Irving, Greagoir, even her, his supposed friend. No, she would never be like that. She could never forget that. Yet, the more she thought about it now the more she wanted to start crying all over again. Maybe, she wasn't cut out for being a Grey Warden after all. She was too stuck in past and too sensitive to how others feel around her. Maybe the ritual got it wrong, maybe Daveth or Ser Jory deserved to be here instead of her. They would be doing a better job of handling the change then she was, right now. She began to wipe her eyes with her sleeves, finally starting to calm down and that's when she heard someone stop right next to her.

"Oh don't do that, dearie. Here take this to dry your eyes. It is better then your robe. Maker's breath, you hang around the men in this camp long enough and I think you begin to pick up some of their horrible habits. Next thing you know, they'll have you belching and telling crude jokes like you're of the boys." A lecturing, but kind voice said holding out a handkerchief to her. "Wynne?" Alexandra asked looking up instantly recognizing the elderly mage from the day before. "Yes, dear, unless you know someone else is walking around as a grey-haired _**young woman**__, _mind you, lecturing people on what's right and what's wrong?" She said with a smile waving the handkerchief again. "No, I do not...Thank you, Wynne." Alexandra said taking it finally from her and drying her eyes.

"You don't mind a little company, do you?" Wynne asked and answered her own question as she immediately sat down beside her before Alexandra could say anything. She wouldn't have objected anyway, she was suddenly glad for the other mage's company. She did seem to give off a grandmotherly presence, even if Wynne might have knocked her on the head for that comparison. Alexandra smiled looking back at the view as the two sat in quietness for a while.

"Now, what is with all the tears? Did you have a little falling out with that blond-haired boy that you were with last night...Ali-Ali-" She paused for a second trying to remember his name. "Alistair? No, this has nothing to do with him...How do you know that anyway?" Alexandra asked more surprised that everyone in Ostagar seemed to know about that now, even the mage camp that was nowhere near the area. The smile in Wynne's eyes seemed to match the smile on lips as she responded, "These eyes are not just for show, dear. I still can see many, many things including that you currently distraught by something that you didn't want to tell Duncan or Alistair. The two people you seem to trust the most. So what is it?"

Alexandra smiled. Wynne was surely brighter then most people gave her credit for and she was far better at grasping subtle things that even younger people didn't realize, much to Alexandra's surprise. She sighed, taking a minute before answering her question unsure of how much she could tell Wynne, "the Joining Ritual was today. I'm a full fledged Grey Warden now." Wynne studied her for a moment, sorting out the hidden message in the young mage's statement before responding. "I see, yet you are not happy. I take it that other two did not survive? It is a sad thing to lose men that young just to stop a Blight." The elder mage said before shaking her head, sorrowfully.

Alexandra nodded in agreement, tightening her hold on her pendent. "Do-do you think I have what it takes to be a good Grey Warden?" She blurted out the haunting question that she had been wondering long before she ever took the Joining. Wynne looked at her immediately, but didn't answer. So, that was what all the tears were stemming from. Alexandra did not feel worthy of being chosen as a Grey Warden. The young mage probably thought that surviving the Joining was all a matter of luck, not skill, not unlike what Wynne felt after she completed her own Harrowing, so she could relate.

"You are here for a reason, child. You survived when others did not. Do not doubt that does mean something. All these feelings mean that you do care more about Thedas and others around you then you do yourself. That's not such a bad thing for a Grey Warden to do, is it? I think not." She finally answered moving her hand to comb the hair on the young mage's head that was moved out of place from the Joining. The more motherly gesture caused Alexandra to smile appreciably for Wynne's words and kindness.

"Just remember the Warden's oath, child, and you will be fine. In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice." Wynne added, getting to her feet and extending her hand out to help Alexandra up to hers. "How do you know so much of the Wardens, Wynne?" She asked taking her up on her offer and standing up. "That is question for another time, my dear. Don't you have somewhere else to be? I heard Alistair mumbling about the king and not a pretty picture. I'm sure you know what he meant." The elderly mage said smiling while dusting off her mage's robe.

"The king? Not a pretty picture? ...Oh, that is right. I'm needed at the meeting." Alexandra stated, rushing off having completely forgotten about the meeting being sidetrack by her own emotions. She half-way there when she realized she forgot to thank Wynne for her help. She stopped and turned around only to see nothing where Wynne stood only seconds earlier. Apparently the elderly mage was a lot faster then most people gave her credit as well. The young mage knew she still had a lot of lessons to learn from the elderly mage, and Alexandra knew Wynne would not be shy about sharing them all. Whether or not Alexandra was always ready and willing to learn those lessons had yet to be known.


	4. Assignments and Apostates

**Author Note: **I'm sorry it took so long to do. I was starting yet another story like I don't have enough already on my plate but I can't help it. Nonetheless, here the next chapter: Assignments and Apostates.

* * *

The meeting with King Cailan was over and everyone seemed, at less on the surface, to agree to the battle plan. The king and Duncan would enter the battlefield together with all the other Grey Wardens, while Alexandra and Alistair would be sent to the Tower of Ishal to light the flame. This would signal Teyrn Loghain's men to enter the field and flank the darkspawn. It all seemed very logical and thought out, so why the whole affair did not seem to sit right with Alexandra? Something was just in air that made her feel that things were not going to be as easy as everyone said.

"What I won't be in the battle?" Alistair's shocked question brought Alexandra back to the situation at hand. Now, she was back standing at fireside with Duncan informing Alistair of the plan. She could understand his feelings of wanting to be on the front lines fighting, she wanted nothing more then that as well. Well, maybe not too close to the front lines being a mage and all...At least it would have been better then to be given the trivial task of lighting the tower. She told Duncan this to which he gave them speech about Grey Warden's duty.

Alistair and Alexandra exchanged a look of defeat during his speech. They knew that there was going to be no sense in trying to argue with Duncan. He was now _**their**_ leader and his word was law. "I want no heroics from either of you." He warned sternly getting ready excusing himself from their presence. Just before he did Alistair stopped him. Alexandra could read the concern in every feature of his face as spoke, "Duncan...may the Maker watch over you." "May he watch over us all." Duncan replied, but even she could pick up that was more directed towards Alistair then to her.

That's when she realized that they did have a stronger bond then just mentor and teacher as she first thought. Duncan was more like a father figure to him and that realization made her suddenly very sad that she could not remember her own father very well. She could feel the tears starting to well up. As Duncan walked away, Alistair looked towards her and she quickly had to wipe the tears away so he wouldn't see. They had a job to do and tears were not going to help her.

"After you." Alistair said half-heartedly. He was still wrapped up in his own thoughts to pay much attention to anyone else. As she lead the way and they got going he felt a little better that he was actually do something rather then sitting around the camp which could have the other alternative especially if Cailan thought for one moment that the tower was too dangerous for him. He would have hated that more than this. As they approached the bridge connecting two sides of the camp, he could see darkspawn horde growing on the edge of the wilds. The men standing under King Cailan's banner: Grey Wardens, Mages, Ash Warriors and their mabari along with many others, were there waiting for the darkspawn to make the first move.

Then suddenly the dark line charged and so did the men and women of the army. Like two warring sea, they crashed into each other. Bodies fell to wayside: humans, elves, and darkspawns, like species didn't matter. He realized that when you die, you die, and it didn't matter where you were born. A part of him also realized how easy it would be to jump from the upper ledge and join the fray, even if he might have not survived the fall. He would have had at least a shot at helping Duncan and the others defeat the threat. Not like now, he would just be lighting the signal, big deal.

He felt someone put a hand on his shoulder and said his name softly, "Alistair." He turned to see it was Alexandra and for a moment there, he had forgotten that she was standing next to him. One look into her green eyes seemed say it all. She knew what he was feeling and felt the same exact way. It made him realize how much of a fool he was in only thinking about himself. She was in the same boat as he was. At least this way, they could do this, together.

"Let's cross the bridge." He yelled and she nodded before being to run, about a half a step ahead of him. About halfway across, a large rock sailed right towards the bridge and immediately on impact, sent everyone flying back including Alistair and Alexandra. He got to his feet first and then turned towards her. "Are you alright?" He asked as he checked her over with worried eyes, extending his hand to her. "Yes, I am fine. What was that?" Alexandra answered placing her hand in his before he pulled her to her feet. "I don't know, but we have to keep moving." He replied, beginning to run again, not wanting to wait around to find out. She followed him, partly because she agreed with him, and partly because he was still holding her hand, not that she minded anyway.

He only let go when he saw two of the men station at the tower coming towards them. They brought news of the tower having been taken by the darkspawn. Alexandra nodded in agreement as Alistair suggested lighting the beacon themselves. He was right and with Alexandra and the two soldiers, they did just that. They fought their way through the tower, through the traps and darkspawn, hiding in the different rooms. One floor at a time, they freed the floor of the creatures until they got to the very last room when the beacon was.

As soon as they entered the room, they saw ogre feasting on some poor, unfortunate, soul. He stopped when he heard them approach. Alistair and the other men raced toward him, attacking with the new swords they had equipped on the way up there. Alexandra stood back, using magic and her staff right near the door. And just when she thought that they were winning the fight, the ogre broke away from them and charged at her. His hand out and Alexandra tried to freeze him, but the spell failed. She closed her eyes knowing that any second he would reach her and scoop her off the floor to be crushed under his massive strength.

Then she heard clanking of metal against the floor followed by someone else cry out in pain. She opened her eyes to see Alistair be picked up and even the ogre looked surprised. He shook him like a little ragdoll, seeming to decide that he would do just as nicely instead of the spell girl. He began to use his other hand to punch him, repeatedly. Alistair's groans got louder with each one and he knew he was helpless to stop him since his sword and shield were now on the ground in front of Alexandra.

She watched horrified as Alistair was losing more and more blood with each passing hit. Without thinking, she dashed forward picking up his sword. She held on tight to the heavy sword with the best of her ability while still running towards the ogre. "Put him down, you, big, hairy--beast!" She shouted, not able to think of any other word. She said it so loudly that she even surprised herself. Everything around her seemed to slow down as the ogre turned and looked at her direction. Before he could do anything, she jumped raising the sword above her head with both hands and stabbed him through his chest. The effect made him instantly let go of Alistair who fell to floor, motionless.

As the ogre fell backwards, she didn't know what came over her that made her pull the sword out and stab him again, this time right between the eyes. His hands reached out for one finally time before falling back to his side, dead. Alexandra stood on top of him, unable to believe what happened. Did she, a mage, just do that? The speechless looks from the two soldiers that were with her told her, the answer was the affirmative. She had done this all because of Alistair. '_Alistair! Maker's breath!'_ Her thoughts suddenly screamed and she looked towards where he laid.

She was by his side in the next instant. He didn't seem to be too badly hurt at least as far as she could. He was alive that was for sure as he was giving her the same shocked look as the others, apparently her little action had not escape even his notice. "Well, that was--something." He managed to say with chuckle as he sat up, his arm clutching his stomach. "Don't worry I have no plans on switching to warrior class now and replace you." Alexandra remarked with a smile, glad to see he was still in good humor before she added worriedly, "Maybe, I should heal you before you start moving."

"Well, good and if I may offer a suggestion next time you yell at big monster before attacking like that, make it a better insult then calling him a big, hairy, beast...which presumably he knows already." He said with another chuckle looking at the ogre before getting up despite her voicing her concerns. "I'm fine anyway. We have better things to do then to have you worrying about me." Alistair stated before reminding her that she had to light the beacon. They had probably missed the signal already.

Alexandra realized he was right and turned her attention to lighting the signal. As soon as she had her back towards him, Alistair pulled his arm away from his stomach and looked down. He could see the fresh wound that was pour out his very lifeline. He knew he was hurt worse then anyone realized the moment he landed. He could feel light headedness beginning to take hold to which he simply shook it off, placing his shield back on his arm and retrieving his sword from the ogre. He just didn't share this information with Alexandra for he knew that only serve to worry her more and for what, their quest was almost done there. Then he could seek treatment for his wounds, or so he thought.

It turned out not to be the case as even after the beacon was lit, darkspawn swarmed the tower. Alistair keep thinking that any minute now that the Grey Wardens or Teyrn's men would come and help them, even after he and Alexandra fought back hundreds upon hundreds of darkspawn. When Alexandra went down from a darkspawn archer's bow, he knew that they were on their own. He fought on still trying desperately to keep them away from her body even as the men died around him. With each passing second, it was becoming harder and harder as blood loss set in. He eventually passed out, right next to Alexandra. "I'm sorry." He managed to choke out looking at her before the darkness overcame him.

* * *

_'Alistair? Alistair?! Alistair, watch out!' _Alexandra's thoughts startled her awake. She stared at the ceiling for a second, not at all recognizing it. She sat up. She tried to remember the last thing that happened. "Ah, your eyes finally open. Mother shall be pleased." A familiar and slightly sarcastic voice interrupted her thoughts. She turned and looked at the dark-haired Witch of the Wilds, who approach her. Now, she was at least she knew that she was, the hut in the Wilds, but how did she ever get there? The last thing she remembered was fighting the darkspawn with Alistair and then nothing...

"What happened to the darkspawn?" She found herself asking. "You were injured, and then Mother rescued you. Do you not remember?" Morrigan answered causing Alexandra to shake her head. She did not feel like she was in anyway injured, apparently Morrigan or her mother did know some healing spells. After asking Morrigan a few more questions, Alexandra learn that all of her fellow Grey Wardens were dead along with the king and at least Alistair had been rescued along with her. She didn't know if she could bear to have lost him, too, even in short time they had known each other.

He wasn't taking the news their deaths any better, according to Morrigan. Why should he be? They were like family to him, especially Duncan. How could Loghain do this to them? He was supposed to help the king and Grey Wardens not lead them to slaughter. She needed to see Alistair, tell him that she is sorry for his--no, _**their **_loss now. The Grey Wardens were now as much as her family as they were his. Then she could thank Morrigan's mother for all of her help. Apostate or not, if she hadn't rescued them, Alistair and her would both be dead.

After Morrigan excused herself to make supper, Alexandra dressed and replaced her staff back on her back. She felt a little better now that she was back to normal, still thinking about the ogre from yesterday. She took a deep breath and stepped outside. "See? Here is your fellow Grey Warden. You worry too much, young man." Morrigan's mother stated as soon as she saw the door open. Alistair turned from staring off into the Wild to Alexandra. "You...you're alive! I thought you were dead for sure." He said sounding so relieved. Alexandra couldn't resist the opportunity to bother him. "It takes more than a few darkspawn to kill me." She said smiling, finding heartwarming that he did care about her.

It was a badly timely joke though as Alistair immediately brought up Duncan, the other Grey Wardens, and the king. The smile dropped off her face instantly. He had realized too that if not for Morrigan's mother, Flemeth as she eventually introduced herself, they would have been dead too. As the three of them continued to talk, Alexandra kept noticing that Flemeth kept reminding them of their duty as Grey Wardens, pushing them to make choices, probing them into action. It was not a bad thing, but she could feel there was a hidden motive behind it, she just didn't know what.

Alistair didn't even seem to notice, but kept throwing out suggestions. The one about going to see Arl Eamon in Redcliff seemed like the best idea. She didn't know how Alistair knew him personally, but she did know all about the Arl of Redcliff. Everyone had. He was well-loved by the people and that would make him a helpful ally to go after Loghain. He needed to pay for what he did to everyone in Ostagar. Like Alistair, she would make sure of that. With the treaties, as Flemeth pointed out, they could gain more allies and form an army to oppose the Blight and Loghain together. Maybe, the two of them could make this happen after all.

Then Flemeth did the unexpected as Morrigan came to inform her supper was ready, she suggested that they take Morrigan with them. Alistair and Alexandra exchanged a nervous glance. They opposed her joining them, each from a different standpoint. However, templar or mage, the reasons boiled down to the same thing. Morrigan was an apostate out of the forest that could and would bring a lot of trouble they didn't need. The two last Grey Warden had the odds already stacked against them. Did they really need to add to their problems?

Eventually, Flemeth got her way, much to the Wardens' disapproval. As they waited for Morrigan to get her things, Alexandra and Alistair separated themselves from Flemeth as much as they could on that small piece of land. Both of them took this time to look out over the lake and out to Wilds, just waiting. Soon, Alexandra noticed that Alistair had turned his attention back on her out of the corner of her eye. He seemed to be studying her for some answer to an unknown question. "If something is on your mind, Alistair, all need to do is to ask." She stated keeping her gaze towards the water.

He smiled. She already could see right though him. "Are you really alright? When I saw that arrow hit you I was afraid-I was afraid-" He couldn't even bring himself to finish the sentence. "That I was dead?" She finished it for him and he nodded quickly. "I am fine now, thanks to Flemeth over there." She said, being under no preconception that just because they moved away from her that the very old Witch of the Wilds was not listening to the conversation still.

Alexandra ignored her though as she spoke again, this time a little quieter. "Alistair, can I ask you a question now?" "Of course, ask away." He responded growing curious what kind of question could make his normally outspoken fellow Warden, so shy and timid. Alexandra swallowed hard. She wondered why chose right now to bring this up. She had already started and it was too late to stop now. "You thought I was dead, right? ...But if you thought I was really dead, then why did you fight so hard to protect me?" She asked looking at him for the first time since this conversation started.

"You saw that?" He said to which she nodded. "I-uh...I-" He found himself unable to find the right words to say as he stared into those lovely eyes of hers. He just didn't know what to say. Now that he thought about it, why did he fight by her side even though he was sure she was dead? He didn't even have an answer for himself, let alone her. _'Maker's breath! You do know the reason why you did that, Alistair! It is because you love her. You--love--her.'_ A voice spoke in his mind. He pushed the thought quickly away. He may have like Alexandra. Okay, he liked her a lot, but to love her? No, it was way too soon and he didn't even know what love felt like. Did he really love her? Was this even really love? He just could not be sure.

Alexandra was still watching him, closely. It was as if she was trying to find the answers on her own since he was not giving her any. He quickly looked back to the lake, just in case she could have somehow read his thoughts. He needed a distraction, something to take the attention off him and he got it in the form of Morrigan walking out of the hut, ready to leave. Thank the Maker! He never thought he would be happy to say that especially about her, but a distraction was a distraction. He could hardly contain his sigh of relief when Alexandra began to talk with Morrigan instead of him.

Morrigan suggested they visit a village north of the Kocari Wilds. "I have no problems with your presence, if Alistair doesn't." He heard Alexandra say which surprised him. He guessed that was her way of trying to fish for him to say something at least since he stood quiet. Morrigan, however, seemed to pick up quickly that he did not like her already. He really did not have anything against her, other then she was an apostate, and mean, and evil, and let's not forget crazy...Yeah, he had nothing against her at all.

Alistair listened as Alexandra continued to ask her questions, only injecting his thoughts when he felt needed to. He couldn't resist one tempting opportunity to bother Morrigan when she was going on about her skills. "Can you cook?" He asked, trying to do the best to keep the amusement out of his voice. Alexandra had to contain her own laughter as he did. She even decided to help him along by suggest that she could be a substitute for him cooking-wise. "I also know at least fifteen different poisons that grow right here in this march. Not that I would suggest 'tis at all related to cooking." Morrigan responded to caused both of them to immediately stop bothering her. They would probably be a lot safer if Alistair cook for them, at least until they got out the marches.

As they left, Alexandra couldn't help but go over what she just learned about the Grey Wardens and their taint in her mind. She had no idea they could feel the darkspawn's presence just because they drank their blood. She couldn't do it yet, but Alistair could. That's must have been the main reason that Duncan had sent Alistair with the new recruits when they first entered the Wilds. All this in turn would allow the darkspawn to sense them as well. She wondered what that meant for those exposed to the taint longer, did that strengthen their senses and allow the darkspawn to find them easier?

She would have to ask that to Alistair the next chance she got, and many other things including the answer to her still unanswered question. She knew he thought he got away from it when Morrigan entered the picture, but he hadn't. She wanted to know if his feelings were more then just caring for her and really something more. Did he feel love sparking between them two, regardless of them both being Grey Wardens or a templar and mage? Or was it just wishful thinking on her part? She wanted to know if his feelings were starting to match hers. Maybe the trip through the Wilds would help her find out.


	5. Jokes and Judgments

Morrigan led the way through the Kocari Wilds with ease and that was to be expected considering she had lived there all her life. Those following her did not seem to have too much trouble keeping up with her even though she was sure that they would having lived a cushy life outside the trees and marshes, unlike her. She realized that out of the two, Alexandra seem to be a better example of what she thought a Grey Warden was suppose to be: strong, smart, and practical. She was all those things and that was surprising to Morrigan since she knew that this mage was born within the Circle. She always assumed that those mages heads were filled with Chantry's lies and hardly an original idea of their own to speak of.

Alexandra did not appear to be as self-righteous and incapable of decision unlike the simple-minded fool that followed her. He did not seem to decide to do anything by himself. He always referred to Alexandra while speaking, looking for her guidance, looking for her approval. She could scarcely believe that he was a Grey Warden, not to mention that he was apparently one even before Alexandra. _'My, how the standards of Grey Wardens has slipped since their glory days.'_ She could not help but think as turned to look them back at them.

They were following in single file as they passed through a particular narrow path through the forest with Alexandra behind Morrigan and Alistair behind her. Alexandra did suggest that he could have gone after Morrigan, but he just gave her an excuse about being able to protect them if darkspawn approached from behind. Although perfectly logical, she could not help and wonder if the real reason was that he did not want to be anywhere near Morrigan and her shape shifting magic. He probably thought that it would allow her to have an easier time of making him into spider or something, before feeding him to the darkspawn.

Alistair would admit secretly that thought had crossed his mind, though he knew that was only one of million possibilities with Morrigan. He felt better trailing after Alexandra. He knew what her magic could do and she would not use it willy-nilly like he pictured apostates doing. Besides, there were other perks from following Alexandra. However, if he thought about them, it did cause his face to get hot again. Luckily, it was darker in the Wilds then mid-morning sky and that covered his blushing from the women in front of him.

"So, Morrigan, what exactly did your mother give you so the darkspawn don't smell us?" Alexandra asked, although she was not that curious. In truth, she just hated the awkward silence that fell over them. She hated all types of silence. She always had, even at Circle Tower--Especially at the Circle Tower. At night, lying on her bed hearing nothing, it just made her want to scream sometimes just to know someone, somewhere, was still alive and she was not alone. She would never do it of course. She had too much self-restraint to do something like that.

"I have no interesting in answering a question you don't want to know, mage." Morrigan answered flippantly, picking up on the fake interest on Alexandra's part. "Well, excuse me, I was just asking a simple question." Alexandra replied, sorry she even brought up the question in the first place. "No need to mean to her, Morrigan. I bet your getting all testy is because even you don't know what it is. Flemeth probably just gave it to you and then set you on your pretty little way, without so much as an explanation." Alistair added quickly as he couldn't help but try to stick up for his fellow Warden and take a jab at Morrigan at the same time.

"I do know what it is! It's dra--Never mind. 'Tis was a nice try, fool, but it failed, miserably." She retorted just as the narrow path began to open up around the trio. She threw Alistair an icy glare before she marched further ahead. In the distance, she could just see the road that would lead them directly to Lothering. She really couldn't wait to get away from that fool. How could Alexandra stand to be around him? He was always whining and making stupid jokes. She would never understand what someone could see in him, especially Alexandra. She could see there was a connection there between the two was brewing.

"Alistair!" Alexandra scolded upon seeing Alistair begin to laugh at Morrigan's reaction. "What?" Alistair responded as innocently as possible looking towards her. She sighed, shaking her head. Although, she did find his antics funny, but he did have to learn when he took his ribbing a little too far. Alistair knew she disapproved, but he had a feeling it was only because that was expected of her. Her stay at the Circle Tower made her seem to always be aware of what other's expected of her and never waver from letting them down, unlike himself.

Besides, he saw the smile she was desperately trying to keep hidden from him before she followed Morrigan. It made him smile as well. It did give him a secret thrill every time she called him name like that anyway. He knew it meant that she was watching him, paying attention to him and to have such a lovely young woman giving him that kind of attention was scary yet amazing. He could feel blush beginning to form so he quickly pushed those thoughts away before doing the same as women way ahead of him, walking towards the road to Lothering.

* * *

Argus had been running ever since the events at Ostagar. The tan mabari had only survived through the war because he used his head. He was with most of his fellow hounds during their first charge at the darkspawn. Most of them died then while he managed to stand his ground for a long time before he realized there were just too many of them. Covered in blood of the creatures, he simply played dead next to one of the corpse of the human warriors and the darkspawn never realized it. They were too busy going after the humans to wonder if the mabari was dead.

As soon as they past, he opened his eyes as far as he could without being seen. He watched as all the men fall including the man in shiny gold armor. Argus felt very bad for him as he watched the ogre squeeze the life out of him. He knew he was special as the man with stern face got so angry and flung himself at the ogre killing it with such determination. His fearlessness reminded Argus of his former master, the one he lost the battle before this. He closed his eyes shutting out the rest of scene.

Argus didn't want to think of that anymore, it was his entire fault that he lost his master anyway. He had been a coward not deserving to be called a mabari and he deserved to die at the hands of creatures that killed his master. If not for that kind woman he would have given up. She had showed him kindness when he thought he deserved none. She made him want to live through the battle and he was sure that she would not go down without a fight either. She would have lived through the battle as well, especially if the puppy did his job at protecting her like male mabari do with females.

When he escaped under the cover of night and into the Kocari Wilds, he knew all he had to do now was find her. Being a dog and trained in using their scent being a war hound, he smelt her scent all over the forest but it was from much earlier he could tell. He just hoped that it would still give him some clue as to where she had gone. It took him a while to figure out which way she went with all her backtracking and stopping to do things. He eventually found his way through what he thought was a deserted part of the woods until he got to a clearing with a wooden building.

He sniffed around, nose to the ground. The woman's scent was strong as was the scent of the human puppy that was apparently alive as well. He could smell two new scents: one, old and decomposing, while the other young but dangerous. The last person's smell mingled with his new master and her friend as they set out in another direction. He was about to follow it when he smelt freshly cooked food. Argus could hear his stomach growling making him decide to take a closer look at the hut.

The door was ajar and it made it easer for him to see inside. A grey haired woman sat on the bed holding a bowl of the food in question. Her yellow eyes sparkled dangerously as she stared at it apparently seeing something in it. "Hah, yes, Morrigan do just as your mother asked. Poor child, she does not even know she shall bring me a far better host for me, hah." She laughed heartily. It was a cackling laughter that chilled Argus to his very bones even though he had no idea what she was talking about. Suddenly, he wasn't very hungry anymore and he tore off quickly into the woods after his new master.

He was going so fast that he almost didn't realize it that he stumbled into a darkspawn band. Luckily, he caught himself in time and they didn't seem to notice him. Argus noticed the Hurlocks seem to be following very closely the trail that he had been following to get to his master. He couldn't let them surprise her, especially from behind. So, he thought quickly and barked turning all their attention on him. He watched biggest and ugliest one grunting out some order before pointing at him.

Before the other Hurlocks could reach Argus, he was gone. He ran as fast as he could while they chased after him. His four legs gave him the natural advantage over their two and soon, he was ahead of them leading them around where he could smell his master was to a point much further down the road. He then turned back towards his master, running faster then he thought was possible with the darkspawn following unwittingly like lambs to slaughter. As he turned the corner of the wooden fence, he could see her, his new master.

She was a sight for sore eyes and she seemed to spot him too as she bent down to his level. He ran towards her skidding to a stop wanting nothing more to jump on her and bark madly, but this was no time for that as the darkspawn behind him were approaching. He began to jump around and bark at the same time hoping she would try to get he message that something was wrong. However, she didn't seem to understand until the second the darkspawn showed up a few yards down the road. When he saw them, he stopped everything before turning to them growling.

After a threat from Hurlock Alpha, although Argus couldn't be so sure who was the intended target for that was, his master or him, the fight started. Argus stayed close to her as she switched into close combat, more to protect the new mage that joined them. He didn't approve and apparently, neither the puppy as he threw Argus a look as if to say _'We need to protect her.'_ Argus did everything he could to keep the attention on him especially from the large sword wielding Alpha.

Eventually, the Hurlocks lay slain and everyone else was not any worse for wear minus being now covered in blood. He panted as he wagged his tail looking at his new master, happily. He was glad to hear that she remembered him from their time to together at Ostagar. The puppy was smarter then he thought as he picked up on the fact that Argus had chosen the woman in front of him as his new master. He didn't seem to mind that Argus wanted to tag along. However, the dark mage didn't seem to like him and Argus didn't like that at all. He made a mental note right there to try to make friends with her, especially if she was going to be hanging around his master all the time.

Argus was thrilled to hear his master say that they were meant to be together as he believed it was the same. Mabari hounds were smart dogs. They could believe in ideals of fate just as well as any human. His master studied him a long time before speaking again, "I think you should be named Argus. He just looks like an Argus to me." He cocked his head to the side in surprised. He had not expected that from her at all. He had just thought she would have given him a new name but somehow she managed to pick his current name. He had picked the right master after all.

Argus was amazed by her answer, but apparently the puppy couldn't let her statement go. "How exactly does one look like Argus? Is it written somewhere on him that you come to that conclusion? I thought your name was something your parents gave you. Next you be telling me that I look like an Alistair because of my blonde hair and witty personality." The puppy remarked with chuckle, running his hand through his hair. "He does look like an Argus. He's vigilant and he is a guardian as he warned us of the danger approaching. And yes, Mr. Smarty-pants, you do look like an Alistair. It is not because of any reason you suggested, but because you defend us and also holds off the enemies. Isn't that what your name means?" His master fired back with a sly look over her shoulder at the puppy.

"I-uh, right." Argus hear him stuttered, much to his surprise. That caused his master to smile as she turned her attention back on him. "Now that, that is settled. Argus, I don't think we introduced ourselves earlier. I am Alexandra. That stuttering man is Alistair and don't worry you'll get use to his jokes really quickly like I have." She said with a laugh. "I'm not that bad, am I?" Alistair asked and wrongly looked to Morrigan for confirmation. "Yes, I guarantee you are, fool." She remarked, relishing in the chance to get him back from earlier.

Alistair was about to respond to her when Alexandra stopped him, "Guys, please stop fighting...I swear I'm starting to think I have a much better chance against the Blight with the dog by my side then you two." She mumbled the last part under her breath which only Argus could hear. Argus would have laughed if he could as Alistair and Morrigan turned away from each other in a huff. "Anyway, Argus, that woman and apostate over there is Morrigan, she can be a little ill-manner on the surface but she probably has a good heart somewhere...way deep inside...where the light of day hasn't been seen for a long time." She stated still in low voice, more a comment to Argus, but she knew the others could hear her.

"I heard that." Morrigan stated in a cool tone, confirming her suspicion. Even if Morrigan pretend not to be upset with her, Alexandra knew that she was angry at her comment, but she couldn't help to be a little bit annoyed for Morrigan's response to her earlier and now with her comment to Alistair. But she was their leader and there was no time to be petty, so she pushed her feeling to the side about the apostate and returned to what they had to do which was go to Lothering. "Argus, everyone, we better get a move on if we have any hope of getting to the village before sunset." She commanded back into leader mode as she stood up.

Everyone nodded and before long they were back on their way. There was still an underlining tension between the two mages, Argus could feel it. None of them said very much as they walked. He was glad that he found Alexandra as maybe he could offer her someone to talk to that wouldn't judge her as seem to be the case with Morrigan and her. Alistair seemed to be stuck in his own head thinking about something to be too concern about them fighting. From the sadness in his eyes, Argus knew it must been painful, a fresh sort of pain that had nothing to do with the situation before.

Argus' presence was much needed now. He had a feeling that they were going to be many fights and arguments with this diverse group of characters. They were only held together by the thin thread known as the Blight. Argus going to have to try to keep them all together and not help unravel the reason they were brought together. Alexandra could not do this alone and she would need his help. He planned to do just that. He just hoped that whatever was in this new village would make their mission more present in their minds and why they need each other to get through this to hopefully and eventually save the world...He could only hope so, right?


	6. Imperfections and Impressions

'_Lothering, pretty as a picture, a village full of bandits, refuges, and oh yes, one remarkable woman by the name of Alexandra._' Alistair found himself thinking as his fellow Grey Warden lead them into the village. Right from the beginning, Alexandra seemed to be so sure in her convictions on doing the right thing that she didn't even hesitate in suggesting the bandits have to be taken into custody, even after learning templars were ones in charge of the village. Alistair was surprised as he knew it was no secret that Circle mages often did harbor resentment and animosity to those watching over them.

Yet, she didn't seem to fit into that mold, or any mold he tried to put her in. She was forever doing things that surprised him, like killing the ogre to save him without even thinking. She seemed to so naturally to take everything in stride, even when the bandits refused to be taken in and attacked. It was an honor to fight at her side almost as much as...Alistair paused. He couldn't even bring himself to say his former mentor's name. He had been silent the whole way up here for just that reason. It was just too painful when he remembered him especially because he would have given his life to have been by his side in Ostagar. Maybe then things would have happened differently.

'_Yes, you would be dead and Alexandra would have been left alone to defend against the Blight._' A thought crept up in his mind to make him regret even thinking of such a thing. He was alive and Alexandra needed him as much as he needed her. She didn't know anything about the Grey Wardens or anything beyond what she learned of other lands at the Circle. He would be at least helpful to her in respect. That thought cleared away his previous sadness as they walked down the ramp into Lothering.

Ignoring Morrigan's comments and her major lack of empathy to what he was going through, Alistair finally took the time to speak up about deciding where they should go next. As he spoke, he watched Alexandra's gaze, which never left him, as she listened and asked questions of her own. He offered up all the information he could and he could almost see the wheels turning in her mind, thinking. Scarcely a minute pasted since he finished before he heard Alexandra say, "I'm ready to get going." He didn't know why those five little words gave him such a boost of confidence but they did. He knew from the determined look in her eye, she already had a plan and if she had a plan, then he and Ferelden would be in hands.

Alistair watched amazed as she lead them further into the village, apparently not being content enough to just figure out what they were going next...No, not Alexandra. She still had to go out of her way to help those they met along the way to the Chantry: A robbed elven family, a little lost boy, unknown requests taken down from the board to do later. No one and nothing seemed out of the realm of escaping her notice and her innate desire to help those less fortunate then her.

As they came upon the Chasind man yelling in front of Chantry, Alistair knew she was going to try to figure out the situation and try to calm everything down. He was right as the man spotted them and he began to include Alexandra in his rant about the darkspawn. Alexandra stayed calm and even showed some pity for the man letting him explain what happened. Alistair crossed his arms, not sure that this time that would be the best choice of words especially after being compared to darkspawn's evil. It surprisingly worked in Alexandra's favor as she even went the extra mile to be convincing enough to soothe the other men's fears that the Chasind man had stirred up.

He couldn't believe he had doubted her ways as they entered the Chantry. The Chasind was dead wrong when said she was filled with darkness, all Alistair could see was that she was filled with light being so warm, gentle, and beautiful. Even in the mist of terrible blight that threaten to consume all of Ferelden and the more bad news fell on them from Ser Bryant, Ser Donall, and the Revered Mother in the Chantry, she remained steadfast that someway, somehow, they were going to make this work.

Alexandra had noticed Alistair had stayed quiet for quite a while even after they left the Chantry and crossed the bridge to the other side of the village. She wondered if his silence had to do with him, still dealing with Duncan's death or maybe the new news of Arl Eamon's strange illness that scattered the Redcliff Knights looking for a lost healing relic. Alistair did seem to more familiar with the Arl and the Knights of Redcliff, much more than what she would expect from someone raised in the Chantry before being recruiting straight into the Grey Wardens. The more she seemed to learn about him the more questions she begun to bring about a certain templar and she would have to ask when she got a chance. She added those to the one question that he had still not answered her.

That all went out of her mind as they entered Dane's Refuge and right into a confrontation with two of Loghain's men. _**Loghain,**_ just knowing that they were attached to that traitorous man was more than enough to summon a small ball of flame in Alexandra's hand, unconsciously. She quickly extinguished by closing her hand as she saw a Chantry Sister approach them. She blinked and suddenly Alexandra wasn't seeing the red-haired woman, but a blonde-haired woman looking at her so crushed. She had looked that way right before the templar dragged her away to Agozar, the mage's prison. It was her former friend's girlfriend, Lily.

She felt the familiar anger bubbling up inside her, as burning hot as drinking the blood at the Joining all over again. How could Jowan do that to them? Lily was problem dead or dying in prison, while Alexandra was still alive, but her fate wasn't any less grim being one of the only two who could stand between the Blight and Ferelden. And where was he? He was probably living on that farm away from everyone just like he wanted, only without Lily. The templars would have an impossible time in catching him since Alexandra had helped destroy his phylactery, a decision she regretted more then anything.

That anger at Jowan suddenly turned onto those men in front of her. They were here, he was not, and it was as simple as that. They were within her range and could easily be wiped out with one fire spell. Her thoughts were egging her on, wanting for her to lash out and take on the unfortunate souls that had no idea she was not in the mood to be threaten. She was going to do it too, until she caught Alistair worried look out of the corner her eye. She had taken too long to say anything and that was unlike her, he had picked up on it.

"What makes you think we're traitor?" She practically had force her lips to say to keep her overwhelming anger from spilling out. She knew the answer to question she asked anyway and the sister just confirmed that. At least the men didn't seem swayed from their attention and Alexandra did get the fight she wanted. It was just over so soon because as the commander got closer to grave injury, he surrendered. A cold thought flashed through her mind knowing how easily she could kill them and it would all be justified since they attack her first.

_'Justification doesn't always mean justice, little one.'_ A deep voice spoke in her mind stopping her train of thoughts faster then hitting the emergency break. It was a voice she hadn't heard in a long time, one belonging to her father. All previous thoughts vanished from her head as she became more aware of the situation around her. These men didn't do anything but choose to be loyal to the wrong man. She gained nothing in killing them other then more blood on her hands.

She settled for allowing the commander to take a message to Loghain and letting him know that the surviving Wardens knew the truth about Ostagar. Everyone seemed please with her decision especially the commander who fled the tavern immediately. The Sister, who introduced herself as Leliana eventually, was clearly devoted to the Maker and offered to join the party to fight the Blight once Alexandra didn't deny the fact that she was a Grey Warden, of course.

Alexandra accepted the offer and allowed her to join. So Leliana was a bit..._**different**_ in her ideals and maybe her sanity as well. Alexandra, herself, almost set fire to the whole tavern just because of anger to someone who wasn't even present at the area. She knew that is not a particular sane thing that people do when they get angry. Weren't they all a little insane trying to stop the Blight with such a small group anyway? Leliana would fit right in among the cast of a sarcastic apostate, a mourning templar, a protective mabari, and a sometimes thoughtless mage; she so happened to call a party.

Morrigan was only one that seemed to be against the idea of including the rogue into the party even before they exited Dane's Refuge. Alexandra assumed the reason behind the disapproval was because Leliana once belonged to the Chantry, a place that abhorred apostates just as much as apostates despised them. Rather then risk Morrigan doing or saying something that would immediately cause Leliana to leave, Alexandra suggested that Morrigan wait for them by imperial highway exit. They had to still finish up side quests that still needed to be done before the left for their next destination, which Alexandra already decided was Denerim.

Morrigan agreed, just not happily as she made a quick quip. She took only a small jab at all of them before she stormed away, out of the village. "Is it me? Or does everyone think the Maker added too much spice when he created that mage, and not enough of the sugar and everything nice?" Leliana asked as she watched Morrigan walk away. Alistair and Alexandra exchange a knowing glance trying to hold their laughter. "Surely you jest as I have no idea what you're talking about, pretty lady. That _**is **_Morrigan being nice." Alistair answered. "Yes, Morrigan can get a lot worse if she wanted to." Alexandra said after him to which Argus barked as if in agreement.

Leliana looked confused as the two Wardens could not hold in the laughter any longer. These two Grey Wardens were not anything like she expected them to be. She pictured the Wardens to be more strict and stern like the Revered Mother or the Templar commanders. However, these two were making jokes and having fun even amiss all the suffering and tragedy happening because of the Blight. She didn't know how she felt about that yet. The Wardens at least seemed to be in agreement with each other, Alexandra being more serious and Alistair being more light-hearted of the pair.

They complimented each other well, _**a little too well**_. It made Leliana wonder if there was something more going on between the Wardens other then being concerned with ending the Blight. She would have asked but Alexandra was back to being serious again as their laughter died down. She suggested that they head out of the village and find the bandits mention on the Chantry board. When Alexandra commanded something, everyone seemed to listen without question Leliana noticed right away, and she didn't even have to be forceful for her to get them to follow willingly.

No matter what Leliana might or might not have questioned about Alexandra's attitude or commitment to the cause, she knew unquestioning loyalty without fear meant that she was a good leader. As Alistair and Argus fell back into their place behind their leader, Leliana did as well. This time more pleased that she had been taken along by this capable, and cute, woman. Leliana watched as Alexandra lead them out of the village, but then stopped suddenly which made all those behind her stop as well.

Alistair, Argus, and Leliana followed her gaze and much to all their surprise found a rather tall man in the cage. As the group approached the cage, Leliana could not help but feel sorry for him being left out there to die. The Revered Mother said he was a murderer, but leaving him out there did not seem as merciful or be any indication that's what the Maker would have called to be his punishment. She always thought it was not man who should decide what punishment is fitting for a person but the Maker's.

Alexandra seemed to agree with her on some level as Leliana heard her offer to try to release him in exchange for helping defeat the Blight. This mage had more sense in her head then the apostate mage. Leliana could safely assume that was because of Alexandra's manners and overall demeanor meant she was raised in the strict rules of the Tower unlike Morrigan, who apparent lack of social graces usually came with a life lived outside of society and its restrictions. So, Leliana was more than happy to help free the Qunari prisoner by convincing the Revered Mother on Alexandra's behalf and also asked for the Revered Mother's approval in allowing Leliana to travel with the Grey Wardens. After a bit of convincing on all their parts, both requests were granted.

* * *

The Qunari man waited in the cage and assumed by the long time the Wardens were taking that he was stuck there for more days on end. The woman..._**Warden**_, he even hesitated to use that word for her, had showed him manners he had not expected from this land of Ferelden. He introduced himself with his title, Sten, rather then his name as it was custom to do at all times, being a rule of the Qunari people. He had worked hard to get his title. He took pride in having it. Had the Warden worked hard to get hers? He thought not.

_'A Warden and a woman, hmph, impossible.' _Sten thought taking up his familiar pastime of playing I-spy. He had heard tales of the legendary Grey Wardens and their great skill in battle. The magic woman barely looked like she could hold a sword, let alone swing it to do any damaged at all. So she could use a staff. Staves were useless to the Qunari, who lived by the sword they carried and would die valiantly beside it. What good would a staff do when an army of enemies charged toward her? She would do better waving a small stick at them and be more thought more threatening.

What of the ones that allow her to lead? The other woman with the religious robes on, she seemed more able to fight, but he did not put much confidence in her skill either on the battlefield. She at least carried a sword, yet she was still a woman which muted its and her usefulness. Then there was the man who also followed behind the mage when he could be leading. He seemed strong and capable but he willingly handed over the reigns to a woman to command him. It was shameful among the group of four only the mabari hound seemed to be the best fighter and most worthy of his respect.

Sten's thoughts stopped as he heard people approaching them. It was the mage Warden and her companions. She freed him and as he said, he stuck to his word by agreeing to help put an end to the Blight. He stepped out from the cage, more then happy to be free of his confines only to find three faces and a dog's mug looking at him expectantly. "What is that you want? You have set me free, so let us be on with this." Sten stated gruffly with a vague hope that they would not pursue any of their questions about him and his confinement.

"What we want is some answers. You are really not going to tell us why you killed those people?" The mage Warden asked, not backing down. "No." Sten replied flatly. He heard her sigh before deciding she might as well introduce him to the others that followed her, "I am Alexandra. That is Alistair, jokester of our group and a fellow Grey Warden. That is Leliana, who also new to party and a Chantry sister. This is Argus, my fateful mabari hound." As she spoke she gestured to each of her following companions before petting Argus on his head.

"And don't forget Morrigan, even though I would surely like to." Alistair chided in before grinning. Alexandra threw an amused, but disproving look his direction before looking back at Sten. "Morrigan is another mage that's with us. She's...well, I think you better just meet her yourself and find out." Alexandra answered before suggesting that he really should go meet Morrigan while they finished what they had to do. Sten scoffed gruffly and walked off to where this other mage was.

He knew the mage they were talking about when he saw her. Magic wielders were easy to spot even without the staff usually strapped to their back. This one seemed to relish the fact that she was a mage rather then the mage Warden who seemed to be trying to subdue her ability for everyone else's sake. He stopped right next to her without a word of greeting or anything of the sort. "So, she got even a qunari to join her. I suppose even your people have a price..." He heard her mutter, looking up at him with sideways glance.

"A price even you, an unrestrictive mage, seem to willingly paid as well consider you stand beside her." Sten replied looking off into the distance. "'Tis is true, but one never said that it would not eventually put a price on her head as well." Morrigan mused more to herself then to be a response to the qunari who stood beside her. Sten didn't even pretend to feign interest in what she was saying lost in his thoughts. Everyone in Alexandra's party seemed to be so different and yet somehow still willingly to follow her. Why did one human, let alone a mage command attention as if highly regarded by those following her after such a short time? Did she deserved to be worthy of being an equal to what he called a Kadan in his language? He didn't know but he was going to watch Alexandra and see.


	7. Rose and Ridcule

"I think that's the last of them." Alexandra said crossing off the last quest on her list returning it to her backpack. The rest of her party gathered around her underneath the large tree in northern Lothering. She looked over everyone, still amazed that her companions had tripled between waking up this morning to count only Alistair as her closest ally in defeating the Blight and now. She was sure that she was still in some crazy dream that occurred during the Joining and if she blinked too fast that she would wake up to find all her new friends gone and Duncan back alive. She knew that no matter how many times she blinked there was no going to be bringing Duncan or any of the other Grey Wardens back.

"Maker's breath, Alexandra, do something! Argus is defecated the poor tree. It's one of the Maker's creations, you know?" Leliana's voice cut through her thoughts and Alexandra returned back into the reality of the situation around her. "Even if he is a well-trained mabari, he's still a hound, Leliana. I can't stop him from doing that and it's much better that he does it there then on your shoes, right?" She answered trying her best to be serious, but the horrified look on Leliana's face was just too funny. "My shoes? Maker forbid." Leliana answered now scooting further away from Argus.

Argus seemed to agree with his master as he lowered his leg and barked happily Alexandra's direction. This caused all of them to laugh. While all of them were preoccupied with Argus, Alistair tried to sneak off without anyone noticing especially not Alexandra. Unfortunately for him, the one person he wished didn't catch him was the very one that did. "Alistair, where are you going?" Alexandra asked curiously making everyone to turn his direction. _'Hurry and think of an excuse, Alistair! Maker's breath, please don't let it slip that its something for her!'_ His thoughts yelled knowing she and everyone was still waiting for an answer as he hesitated.

"Uh...I just realized lost something in Lothering." He finally managed to get out, trying his best not to look nervous as he lied. He watched as Alexandra looked him over for a second trying to see if whatever he lost was in his appearance, but he looked exactly as she remembered when they entered Lothering. "Oh really? What was it? Do you want us all to go back? We could find it faster with all of us looking for...whatever it is." She suggested apparently giving up her search. He smiled as she just made it clearer in his mind that he needed to do this. They had just traveled all over the village a couple of times doing various quests and errands, and yet she was still willing to go around again just to help him find his "lost" item. She deserved for him to pick the item he saw.

"You really want to go back to look for one of my socks? I suppose we could. Socks are very sneaky things maybe it would be best to have more people looking for it." He answered with a joke and a hopeful prayer she would just laugh it off. Alexandra did not laugh but he saw the amused smile she tried to suppress as the others as they exchanged looks. "Fine, Alistair, go find whatever it is you lost and we will wait for you by the imperial highway's exit." Alexandra stated at least knowing the point of his joke was just to make up an excuse before she led the rest of the party up the ramp and to the exit.

Alistair sighed out of relief as he turned back towards the village before he began walking to the left. He had seen something amazing while they were going after the bandits and by accident stubble upon a group of spiders. It was beautiful red rose growing out among the bushes near the spider's nest. He was surprised the spiders didn't crush already or the various bandits stamping through the area. He knew the darkspawn would come through the area soon too and their taint would certainly destroy it. He just had to take it, for Alexandra. She deserved something so out of the ordinary.

As he came upon the rose again, he studied it. _'How could something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness?' _He found himself thinking as he did. It was such a beautiful rare thing to find amiss all the darkness exactly like Alexandra. She was bright spot in his day even fighting the darkspawn as long as he saw her smile then everything in his world was okay. This rose would definitely make her smile. He leaned over and picked the rose from the bush as gently as he could. He placed it inside his pouch that he carried along with a few hidden poultices and piece or two of fine cheese just in case he got hungry later.

He turned back heading to the exit. New questions arose in his mind as he walked. So he picked a rose for Alexandra? When was he supposed to give it to her? He just couldn't walk up to her now and do it with everyone around Maker's breath that would be too nerve-wracking for him. And how was he going to do it? Was he going to try to be funny and hope that she through it or try to be serious and just tell her how he felt? All these contradicting thoughts were making him more anxious and confused.

There was no doubt about it, he needed advice, but what was he going to do with the rose until then? He didn't want it to die before he had a chance to give it to her. A mage could probably use a spell or two to keep it alive, but he knew only two mages. He couldn't ask Alexandra to do it for him that would just mute the whole point of the surprise. There was only one choice left, _**Morrigan**_. Just saying her name reminded him of all the bad blood between them since their first meeting.

She was so collective about everything like nothing affected her. She rarely showed any other emotion then anger or distain towards any of them. Alistair could never be like that. He felt every emotion and it let him have empathy for others. So sometimes these things overwhelmed him, he was stronger for it. It allowed him to be sure that what he was doing was right, not just for him but for others too. Maybe that is why they never meshed well. They were at opposite end of almost every issue. So she probably knew some magic spell that could keep the rose alive longer, maybe even forever. Was he really going to ask her for help? The answer was simple, for Alexandra he would do it and so much more.

Alistair finally reached Alexandra and the others waiting for him. They were head to toe again covered in blood. Apparently he had missed some fighting. He secretly checked his fellow warden over to see if there were any seeable injured but she seemed okay and for that he was glad. Alexandra waved him over where she introduced him to Bodahn, the traveling dwarven merchant, and his son, Sandal who they just saved. They had declined to join them on the road, but at least Alexandra seemed happy to have helped them, which was no surprise to Alistair. He tried unsuccessful to hide his growing smile.

"Alistair is back now. I think we should go over what we will do next. We should find somewhere safe to camp for tonight and then tomorrow we begin to head to Denerim, agreed?" Alexandra commanded and there was collected nod from everyone except for Alistair. He was just staring at her rather strangely. "What Alistair is there something on my face?" She asked, not all being serious when he responded back, "Well actually you got a bit of blood right there on your cheek." "Where?" She said suddenly feeling subconscious about her appearance.

"Right there...No, more to your left...No, your other left...Now, down...Actually bit up...' Alistair continued rattling off the direction while she tried to find the spot he was talking about on her face. He could barely keep from laughing as she didn't seem to get that he was just taking the opportunity to bother her. It took her to hear him start laughing before she realized what he was doing. "Alistair!" She scolded in her all too familiar way already. "I'm sorry I couldn't resist, Alexandra." He said in between his fit of laughter.

Alexandra was not really angry as she would admit that he gotten her good but that did not mean she wasn't going to let that joke go without one of her own. "Well, Alistair, since you can't resist making a joke, how about I can't resist using a little magic on you? You have five seconds to run before I sent a fire spell barreling after you." She stated, pretended to be serious. "Ha-ha, good one Alexandra--_**What?" **_He said as his laughter stopped immediately. "5..." She began to count trying to hide a smile from forming.

"Wait...you're serious?" Alistair asked still not willing to believe her. "...4..." She continued to count, ignoring his question. He didn't know what to do as he looked for somebody to help him. "...3..." She stated and panic began to set into him as she continued, "...2...You better run, Alistair because here it comes...1..." He flinched expecting to feel fire consume him but he felt nothing. He heard Alexandra start laughing and he reopened his eyes. "Got you." She said with a cocky smile.

Alistair grinned relaxing. She was nothing more then a big tease but at least in this case he was glad as he wasn't being roasted. "I'm going to get you back, Alexandra, you better run." He warned her playfully. "Oh really, what makes you think you catch me?" She challenged him. "I caught up to you once and I bet I can do it again." He fired back with amused smile to which she answered, "Not really since you cheated." "Wait! You're the one who cheated, Alexandra! Alexandra? ...Hey." Alistair whined as he realized she had taken off running while he was speaking.

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. You'll have to beat me to where the highway turns towards Denerim to find out." She taunted him playfully as she turned back towards him. "It's a bet, Alexandra!" Alistair said laughing as he took off running after her and once again their little game was on. Their laughter mixed together as they disappeared. They were so involved with their own usual cat and mouse play that they had completely forgot about the others that were with them.

Sten, Morrigan, Leliana watched the two Grey Wardens run off. "And they are supposed to be the only ones that can stop the impending Blight from consuming Ferelden?" Sten asked in deeply disproving tone. "'Tis is true." Morrigan responded with as much disapproval. "What's wrong with it? I think it's cute." Leliana interjected looking between both of them. "And will you still think it's cute when some darkspawn is walk around in your shoes and all over your grave?" Morrigan added sarcastically to which none of them said another word. Argus barked bring them back to what they had to do. Since his master was gone, he self-appointed himself as leader and leading the remaining group onward after the Grey Wardens.

* * *

Soon afterwards, everything settled down to familiar seriousness between everyone after they caught up to Alexandra and Alistair. Alexandra and Alistair had found a perfect place to set up camp while they were racing...Well, Alistair had stumbled upon it as he tried to avoid a paralyzing trap set by Alexandra. While he was distracted, she claimed herself the victor again. She was expecting him to be angry or at least a bit annoyed at her for cheating again but he wasn't. He was too happy to show her that the great spot he found, dragging her after him by the hand. That were they sat waiting for the others as Alexandra tried to catch her breath and Alistair tried to keep his eyes focus on anything but the panting form that sat beside him.

He was so glad to see everyone as the blush in his cheeks was getting harder and harder to be kept hidden. He and Alexandra stood up before everyone turned to her waiting for further instructions. Alexandra stated they divide the labor some go to get wood from the forest while others set up the tents they had gotten in Lothering. Alistair, her, and Argus would go get the wood, while Sten, Morrigan, and Leliana stayed at camp. Everyone agreed although not without comments, but they eventually got to work.

Before long, the tents were up and wood was piled in the center of the camp. A few fallen tree logs were moved around the center pile for their makeshift chairs. Alistair volunteered to cook after he started the camp fire, a task he said he had done thousands of times. However after five minutes of struggling to light the fire, Alexandra felt she had to do something as others were still busy with their own things. So she approached him as he crouched beside the firewood. "Alistair, do you need some help?" She asked as she set her hand down on his shoulder causing him to look up at her.

"No, I got it. I know what it is. It is these sticks. They must not be fire-starting sticks." He joked, knowing that was not the real reason. He was looking at the real reason. Just knowing that she was watching him made more nervous and that much more difficult to light the fire. _'Get a grip, Alistair, if you can't even light a fire in front of her worrying if something will go wrong imagine if you and she...'_ His thoughts stopped and caused a feverish blush to spread across his cheeks.

"Well, you shouldn't be using sticks then." Alexandra said oblivious to his thoughts as she knelt next to him. "Then how are we supposed to light the fire?" Alistair asked gaining his sense enough to talk again. "Magic." She stated summoning a small ball of flame in her open hand again. Alistair watched as she leaned closer the wood and blew the fire towards it gently. A second later the entire pile caught on flames and she sat back throwing him a triumphant smile.

"Show-off." Alistair muttered, but secretly amazed. Alexandra seemed so at ease when she used her power and knowing how much she should use in any given situation. She showed she had control unlike most of the mages he had come into contact with, including Morrigan. "Well, don't be jealous, Alistair. I just happened to better equipped for situations like this. Now, ask me to light a real fire with sticks like you were trying do, morning would come and we would still be in darkness." She responded with a light laugh.

"Maybe I can teach you as with anything else you might have not learned in the Circle, not that you need much teaching with your skills." He said successfully hiding a grin. His response made Alexandra turn him quickly. She had expected some random joke made at her expense not an offer like that. She studied him realizing he was actually serious and she was taken aback. "I-uh-But you can't-What will the others-" She stuttered incoherently not really knowing what to say. Alistair grinned widely now. He reveled slightly in her apparent discomfort as usually he was shy one. Now, he could see why others chose to bother him about it. It was just too easy not to. He glad he made the offer in jest...well _**mostly**_ in jest.

"I do believe someone is blushing." Alistair stated not hiding his amusement as he noticed a slight blush had begun to creep across her face in the fire's light as she became fluster. Alexandra turned away from him quickly covering her face before insisting, "I am not blushing!" "Whatever you say, pretty lady, whatever you say." He responded with a laugh. To his surprise, he heard her laugh as well and soon they both were laughing uncontrollably. It drew the attention of all others at the camp including Bodahn and Sandal who had decided to stay with the party for their own safety now as night had fallen.

"I think you better start cooking supper, Alistair, unless we want a hostile party on our hands." Alexandra stated feeling all of the new attention on them. Alistair sighed knowing she was right, but a part of him didn't want their fun to end. He caught her eye and she smiled knowingly, letting him know she felt the exact the same way. That made him smile too as he stood up and help Alexandra do the same. He went to work began preparing the food and cooking for all of them.

All the while he was cooking, he keep sneaking glance at Alexandra as she sat waiting on the log beside him. A couple times, she caught him but she smiled back, apparently not bother. He caught her looking at him a couple of times too and one of the times, he had noticed her gaze had drop future down from his face to a spot way lower. He thought he had imagined it as she looked so quickly away upon seeing that he saw her. He realized she _**had**_ been checking out his hindquarters as a deep blush arose on her face even as she looked away. It gave him special thrill within him and made him begin to get just as red knowing that she was beginning to think of him that way.

He did not have time to dwell about it too long as soon the food was done. An appetizing lump of grey mush was on the menu tonight and probably every night that he cook, everyone would soon learn. That's how he learned to cook, boil it until everything an unformed shade of grey then it was done. Luckily, the Grey Wardens didn't mind as their increased appetite would allow them to eat pretty much anything and not really care if it was little more then expensive gruel.

Alexandra seemed to have the same thought pattern about food as the other Grey Wardens before her. She had inhaled almost half of it before everyone else even gathered up the nerve to try their first spoonful. Alistair had to laugh quietly to himself at the sight. The poor thing didn't even realize the changes of becoming a Grey Warden had already begun to take hold over her. She only outmatched by Argus who had licked his bowl clean in one gulp and was now looking up at his master looking for more.

Argus, like Leliana, had claimed his spot on the side of Alexandra much to Alistair's disappointment. Alistair had to find himself a new seat which unfortunately was right across from Morrigan who refused to sit by anyone. He tried to avoid even looking her direction knowing what he still have to do and find a way to convince her to help him keep the rose alive. He didn't want to mess it up by annoying her before he had even chance to ask for her help. Luckily Leliana's talking seemed to keep everyone focus on her rather then anything else.

Alistair had realized Leliana loved to talk much more then he would expect a sister from a Chantry would and it wasn't even talk about the Maker or anything of the sort. She just liked to tell a tale and although they were very interesting, Alistair found his attention wandering to Alexandra. He noticed her eyes threaten to close quite few times since Leliana had started. He didn't know about her but Alistair had not sleep well since before they even met which seemed like so long ago. He couldn't believe it had only actually been a few days. He had luxury of few hours sleep while they were at Flemeth's hut, but he was so worried about Alexandra dying on him that he could hardly call that sleep restful.

Alexandra really had not done much better in regards to sleeping. She always had trouble sleeping as it was in the Tower but since leaving it, her sleep had not gotten any less terrifying with dreams of blood mages and Fade spirits. So much so that she had begun to dread nightfall knowing she would have eventually sleep. Still, she could not shake the tiredness that overcame her as she sat there listened to Leliana talk and it had nothing to do with her ability as a storyteller. She was just incredible tired now they had a moment of rest since she had become a Grey Warden. Alexandra was surprised when Alistair interrupted Leliana stating maybe should all rest for now as they had plenty of time to finish the story later. He even went as far as suggest that he and Sten would take the first watch.

Alexandra caught his eye and he gave her a knowing grin. Apparently even he realized she needed some sleep and was suddenly taking charge for her sake. She smiled gratefully as everyone disbursed to their places. Alexandra barely had enough energy left to stand before she shuffled slowly to the bedroll she had set up a few feet away. She did have tent she could go to but just the thought of walking another few feet was too exhausting. She would sleep out in the open like almost everyone in her party tonight.

Her eyes closed as soon as she laid down and was out like a light a few second after that secure in the knowledge that Alistair and Sten will keep the camp well protected in her absence. Alistair would keep the camp safe. There was no doubt about that as he noticed her fall straight to sleep. She seemed so calm and peaceful as she slept and it was a different calm and peaceful then usual. It was one belonging to those who didn't have the Blight barreling down towards them and little chance of stopping it without some serious help.

He would do anything to keep that look there even when she was awake. He knew the rose he picked earlier might do the trick. He just had to keep it alive until he could give it to her. He needed Morrigan's help for that. He just had to get to her without anyone seeing him and asking too many questions. So, he waited until Sten circled the far side of camp before Alistair moved from his position watching the southern side of camp. He snuck towards where Morrigan had set up her tent.

She had pulled herself away from everyone in camp since they had arrived. From what Alistair gathered she didn't help Leliana or Sten at all when they split up earlier. She only seemed to care about herself and leave everyone else to survive on their own. It was the same attitude that made him consider turning back even as he approached the campfire she had created for herself, probably with magic just like Alexandra had done. _'Alexandra, I am doing this for her.'_ He had to remind himself as he braced for whatever welcome, or rather _**unwelcome**_, he was going to receive from Morrigan.

Morrigan didn't seem at all pleased when she saw him approach her. She thought he was supposed to be on watch and not bothering her. "What is it, fool? Come to compare me to Mother again?" She asked, still seething at his remark about her nose looking like her mother's. Alistair could hear the anger in her voice even if she tried to hide it. He realized that any mention of her mother would shake her to the very core. It appeared to be the only chink in her otherwise detached armor.

Alistair smiled sheepishly, hoping that she would have let it slide by now but apparently she still held a grudge. "Come now, Morrigan, you can't still be mad at me?" He asked and Morrigan remained unmoved. "Indeed I can fool, but what is it you want?" She pressed knowing the faster she got this conversation over with the faster the little toadstool could go back to pretending to guard them. Alistair took a deep breath knowing the next choice of words were vital to keep the conversation from spiraling into a bunch of insults.

"I need your help, Morrigan, more specifically a spell to keep this alive." He said looking around nervously before pulling the rose out carefully and handing it to her. She examined it and him with equal parts suspicion that this was some joke on his part. "'Tis is a rose, fool. It is suppose to eventually die like all things in the world. Why would it matter that one rose live?" She asked and before he could stop himself, he responded, "It is something for Alexandra." As soon as the words spilled from his lips, he regretted saying them as he watched Morrigan's face twist in smug sneer.

"My, how precious, a gift for his fellow Warden, Alexandra is a lucky girl." She snickered. Alistair narrowed his eyes at her, growing annoyed. "Just give it back already, forget I said anything." He said as he grabbed for the rose. She pulled it out of reach just in time, not about to let this chance pass her by after all the comments he made to her. "Two Grey Wardens together ending the Blight and falling in love along the way, it has beginning of a great story, doesn't it?" She commented sarcastically.

"Enough, Morrigan." He demanded having enough of her games, but she persisted on, "Imagine a mage and a former templar together, I bet the Chantry would love to announce that union." "Morrigan, I said enough!" Alistair practically growled fed up. His demeanor changed so fast that Morrigan stopped. She had not expected his normally laid-back nature to be replaced by one of anger. Maybe he did have a spine after all, pity he didn't use it. They stared at each other for a long time without saying a word.

"If you not going to help me, just give me back the rose." Alistair stated breaking the silence and holding his hand out to her. "Did I say I wouldn't help, fool? I may see no point in it, but I will do it...but not without a deal." Morrigan said much to his surprise. "Name it." He demanded wondering if she was secretly demand he would have to be turned into a toad or something in exchange for her help. The price turned out to not be as high as he thought as she responded, "I want you to cease in talking about Mother and comparing me to her in any way."

Alistair sighed, so much for picking on that sore spot of hers. He reluctantly agreed knowing for Alexandra he could at least do that, besides it wasn't like he couldn't find other things to joke and annoy Morrigan with. His agreement seemed to satisfy Morrigan enough to begin casting the spell she knew would work on the rose. Alistair watched tensely worrying that despite her offer to help, she would still turn around and kill the rose. Her big display of power did not help soothe his fears. She was unlike Alexandra as she seemed to like using more power then necessary making a white light envelope the entire rose and her hand.

Alistair nervously glanced around again hoping no one else in camp saw the light, but fortunately no one seemed to be paying them any heed. A second later, the light faded and the rose appeared unharmed. Honestly it looked as if she had done absolutely nothing to it. His look much have conveyed this as Morrigan shook the rose violently in effort to show him her magic had in fact done something. None of the petals fell or even move in the movement. Forever the rose would stay like that, unbreakable and unfading.

"Thank you, Morrigan." Alistair found himself saying as Morrigan handed him back the rose which he immediately put away. "Well, don't expect me to do another favor for you." She responded shrugging off his appreciation. "Don't worry, I won't." He said with absolute confidence. "I'm glad to see you aren't as stupid as I first thought." She stated turning back to the fire. "And here I thought we were just getting along, too." Alistair remarked before walking off laughing as he returned to his duty.

Morrigan secretly watched him leave. She knew she shouldn't have helped him but not for the obvious reasons. The rose was a gift that could lead the two Wardens down a dangerous and most foolish path known as love. Flemeth had told her all about the fate that awaited the two Wardens as well as her part in the events that would unfold. She knew that Alistair and Alexandra did not know what fate had in store for them. A little part of her wanted to tell them before they got too far in love and it was the same part of her that still wanted that golden mirror her mother smashed. Just like her mother had done that day, that part of her was going to be taught a harsh lesson. Tell only as much as needed and leave the rest for them to find out as it comes. What the Wardens didn't know was better for their sake...and hers as well.


End file.
